The Hummus News

The Hummus News

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US News

Trump Begins Acceptance Speech With Call To Prayer

03/24

US News

Ahmed Spends Laylat ul Qadr Earning 1000 Months Worth of Xbox Achievements

03/24

Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

03/24

Technology

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid

03/24

Mosque Heat Vision Cameras Capture Elusive Juma'ah Fart Bandit

Local Imam Weighs In: "The Dress Is Blue And Haram"

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"I Should've Prayed Maghrib On Time" Says Royals Fan

ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

Halal McNuggets Will Allow Muslims To Also Enjoy Food Poisoning

Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

Imam Calls for Mosque Shutdown Until Gender Separation Wall Built

Disheveled Uncle Prepared to Refute Every Line of Khutbah

Saudi Aristocrat Escapes Dire Ritz Carlton Conditions, Cites Human Rights Violations

Company Generously Treats Employees to Free Lunches for Entire Holy Month

17-year-old Nada Disappointed to Learn Her Parent’s House Not a Hotel

US Fighter Jets Drop 200 Cans of Pepsi Over West Mosul

President Trump Promises Muslim Ban Will Bring "Many, many more jobs to ISIS"

Trump “Practicing Alphabets” Between Executive Order, Say Senior Staff

Trump Begins Acceptance Speech With Call To Prayer

Ahmed Will Be "Out Late Studying With All Male Classmates" on Dec. 31, Says His Proud Mother

In a Show of Nationalism, Turkey Bans Chicken

Satan Drunk Texts Donald Trump After Campaign Victory

Local Muslim Couple Question if Sex Was Worth Getting Married at 20

Saudi Woman Accidentally Drives Car Straight into Hell

Uproar Over Starbucks' Green "Allahu Akbar" Holiday Cups

Donald Trump: "No Prayer Spaces in Muslim Internment Camps If I'm President."

Obama Invites Fellow Muslim to Bring Clock to Whitehouse

5 Ways to Welcome Back Shaytan

7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2016

2017's Top-5 Muslim Bachelorettes At Your Local Mosque

2017's Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

12/31/2017

Snapchat's Best Friend Feature Was Only Way To Know Nabila Was Talking To Shareef

Ahmed Spends Laylat ul Qadr Earning 1000 Months Worth of Xbox Achievements

Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

Muslim Mom Still Doesn’t Know Who Ferguson Is

Muslim Dude Gives No Effs, Swipes Right During Khutbah

Iraqi Forces Closing In On Cute Little ISIS-Controlled Cupcake Shop

Mosque Heat Vision Cameras Capture Elusive Juma'ah Fart Bandit

Niqabi Going As "Sexy Tablecloth" For Halloween

Local Imam Weighs In: "The Dress Is Blue And Haram"

Prosecutor Assures Public That Adnan Syed Definitely Muslim And Possibly Guilty

Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down

Iran Accused Of Enriching Flour Despite Repeated Warnings

Muslims Finally Condemn Ebola, Expert Not Fooled

Elderly Arab Men Watch "Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas," Don't Understand

Voting Age In Qatar Raised To "Voting For Incumbent"

Pressure Mounting As Suhail Must Choose Between Last Five Minutes Of Gilmore Girls And Maghrib

Maryam Doesn't Have a Little Lamb Anymore

ISIS Calls On Supporters To Destroy The AFC West

Husain Abdullah Missed Kaba By 17 Degrees

Emma Watson's Dowry Plummets After U.N. Speech, Says Local Sexist

Muslims' Ramadan Breath Can Be Used As Rocket Fuel, Study Finds

Meet Your Caliph: An In-Depth Interview

Suarez Baffled How Muslim Players Will Go 30 Days Without Biting Anyone

ISIS Leader Adds Ray Rice To Fantasy Football Team

Top 5 Presidential Candidates For Next Year's Egyptian Revolution

FCC Warns Public: Sexist Uncle Aamir Now On Twitter

Man Who Prayed 20 Rakahs at Taraweeh Yesterday Insists He Isn't a Hero

Guy At Back Of Iftar Line Realizes Kabobs A Lost Cause, Will Wait For Eid

Cries For Reassignment Erupt After Sorting Hat Places Muslims In Undesirable Madhabs

Hostages From Last Night's Masjid Fundraiser Released Unharmed

Mosque League Basketball Team Clearly Converted Tyrone For Upcoming Tournament

Engineering or Medicine, Hamid's Parents Declare Support No Matter Which Major He Chooses

Cold Caused By Going Out With Friends Last Night, Says Local Muslim Mother

Pakistani Baby Implicated In Attempted Murder Pleads Guilty To "Bottle Laundering" Charge

Not To Be Outdone By Russia, Egypt Sentences 530 To Death

Mosque Board Accidentally Makes Reasonable Decision

Lebanon Finally Arrives In Sochi For Winter Olympics

Annoying Kid Who Runs Between Prayer Lines Retires

Radical Imam Tears It Up On The Half-pipe

Muslim Man’s Ego Fatally Wounded In Coffee Shop Argument

Muslim Frat To Throw Crazy Pizza Party This Weekend

21 Year-Old Zainab Finally Getting Married

Muslim Kangaroo Feels Left Out At Afghan Mosque

Gender Separation Wall "Can Be Seen From Space," Boasts Local Imam

New App Allows Parents To Compare Ahmed To Fictional Children

2/10/2014

Apple TV For Muslim Mothers To Include ‘Fast Forward Through Entire PG-13 Movie’ Button

Muslim Daughter Feared Missing After Father Calls 38 Times Within 5 Minutes

Friday Congregation Led By Kanye Goes Surprisingly Well

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid

Saudi Version of Snow White Features New Mysterious Taller Dwarf, No Snow White

New "iBribe" App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

Child At Arab Gathering Summoned From Upstairs Fun, Endures Completion Of Parental Departing Ritual

Pentagon’s New Uniform Policy Threat To Wholesome American Bigotry

Rep. Michele Bachmann: Victory Mosque Cleverly Disguised As Cross-Bearing, Minister-Led Church

Muslim On Airplane Fails To Smile Wide Enough, Pilot Makes Emergency Landing

Muslim Man Faced With Choice Between Beef Jerky And Heaven

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

Caliphate Established In Quaint Midwest Home

Son Comes Out To Father As Non-Polygamist

Saudi Art Exhibit To Feature Absolutely Nothing By Absolutely No One

Least Competent Arab Child Appointed Minister of Sandcastle Construction

FCC Deregulates Arab Dad Conversations, Experts Concerned

Mosque Cuts Costs By Building State-Of-The-Art Online Women's Prayer Hall

Local Imam Seals Fate of Community With Horribly Outdated Interfaith Rap

State-Run Media Is Most Reliable Source of News According to State-Run Study

Elmo Declared #1 Threat To Public Morality By Gulf State Commission

Arab Breezes Through Airport Security, Reports It To TSA Headquarters

Outrage As Pakistan Terminates Demon-Repellent Subsidy Program

Representative Peter King Fears Muslim Radicalization Of Own Thoughts, Calls Emergency Hearing

FOX News Host Accuses Santa Claus Of Visiting The Homes Of Muslim Children

Saudi Arabia Announces The Discovery Of Mars

Efficient New Democracy Will Feature Single Un-Elected Representative

Muslim Father Searches For Remote, World Doesn't End

Pakistani Mom Gossip Reaches All-Time High After Saleem Actually Marries Rabia, Say Experts

Local Man Will Allow Muslim Neighbor To Continue Being Muslim

Trump Begins Acceptance Speech With Call To Prayer

Ahmed Spends Laylat ul Qadr Earning 1000 Months Worth of Xbox Achievements

Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid

Trump Begins Acceptance Speech With Call To Prayer

Ahmed Spends Laylat ul Qadr Earning 1000 Months Worth of Xbox Achievements

Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid