By: Anwar Nassar

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On Saturday, after waking up at 11:30 a.m., getting showered and leaving the house for four hours, Nada Abidi received some frightening news when she came back home at 4 p.m. At an impromptu press conference, her mother announced that she’ll be grounded for two weeks with no Netflix. The unilateral decision was made worse when Mrs. Abidi revealed top-secret intelligence details that caught Nada by surprise - “This is not a hotel,” Mrs. Abidi said.

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Nada, always honest with her friends and family, showed clear signs of shock and devastation upon the announcement. Having always assumed that her suburban home in Naperville, Illinois was a four bedroom hotel for her and her two sisters, she has vowed to uncover every other Muslim parent secret. As of press time, Nada discovered that her parents only dated for two weeks before getting engaged.